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M. Smith

Short Story: ITYSL - The New Car

Updated: Nov 23, 2024


John, Sarah, Mike, and Linda are sitting at a table in a restaurant, looking at the menu.

John is noticeably excited and keeps suggesting dishes to order.


John: Hey, have you guys tried the shrimp cocktail here? It's amazing!

Sarah: I'm not really in the mood for shrimp, John.

Mike: Yeah, me neither.

Linda: I think I'll just stick with a salad.

John: Oh, come on, guys! You have to try it. It's the best thing on the menu.

The waiter comes over to take their order.

Waiter: Are you guys ready to order?

John: Yes, we'll have the shrimp cocktail, a margherita pizza, and some nachos.

Sarah: John, I don't want any of that.

Mike: Yeah, me neither.

Linda: Can we just order what we want, John?

John: Oh, come on, guys! Trust me, you're going to love it.

The food arrives, but John is the only one who seems to be enjoying it.

John: This shrimp cocktail is amazing! You guys have to try it!

Sarah: John, we told you we didn't want any.

Mike: Yeah, can we just get the bill and leave?

Linda: I don't want to pay for food I didn't eat.

John: What are you talking about? You all loved it!

Sarah: John, no one wanted the food you ordered.

Mike: Yeah, and now you expect us to split the bill with you?

Linda: This is ridiculous.

John: Fine, I'll pay for it myself.

Just as they are about to leave, John makes a shocking revelation.

John: Actually, I have a confession to make. The reason I ordered all that food is because I need it to power my car.

Sarah: What?

Mike: That doesn't make any sense.

Linda: You're not serious, are you?

John: Yes, I invested in a one-of-a-kind food-powered car that runs on baked bread.

Sarah: That's insane!

Mike: And expensive!

Linda: No wonder you wanted to split the bill.

Sarah: Wait a minute, John. If your car runs on baked bread, why did you order shrimp and nachos?

John: Oh, right.. well... I trade the shrimp and nachos to the baked bread place up the road for the baked bread I need to power my car.

Mike: That's still ridiculous, John. Why did you invest in such a crazy car in the first place?

John: Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time. The salesman told me it would run on any kind of food, but it turns out that it only runs on expensive baked bread.

Linda: John, you made a terrible investment. You should cut your losses and move on.

John: What?! No way, I'm not selling my car! This car is my life! It's the coolest thing I've ever owned!

Sarah: John, come on. The car doesn't even work properly, and you're wasting all this money on expensive baked bread just to power it? Be reasonable.

Mike: Yeah, and you're ordering all this food that no one wants just to try to cover the cost.

Linda: It's not worth it, John. You need to let it go.

John: I'm being reasonable!!! Without it, I'm nothing!

Sarah: John, that's ridiculous. You're not defined by your car.

Mike: Yeah, you're so much more than that, Buddy.

Linda: You need to focus on finding something that actually works, not just something that makes you feel cool.

John: Oh Fuck You, Linda! You're always judging me! You get botox every week, and yet you're criticizing my car payments?

Linda: John, that's not the point. Your car is a waste of money, and it's not practical.

John: Yeah, well, at least I'm not wasting my money on something as frivolous as botox.

Sarah: Hey, Linda, I've been meaning to ask you. Why do you get botox every week?

Linda: Um, well, I like to take care of my appearance, and botox helps me look younger.

Mike: You know, Linda, botox isn't really necessary. You look great the way you are.

John: Yeah, and maybe you could save all that money you're spending on botox and invest it in something more practical.

Linda: Hey, I like getting botox, okay? It makes me feel good.

Sarah: Okay, okay, let's not argue. We need to focus on finding a solution for John's car problem.

John: I don't need anyone's help! I'll be fine. Leave me alone!

Linda: John, come on, don't be like that.

Mike: Yeah, we're just trying to help.

Sarah: John, we're your friends. We want to see you succeed.

John: You guys just don't understand. My car is my life.

Suddenly, the waiter walks up with their bill.

Waiter: Okay, your total is $50. Did you want to split it?

Everyone looks at John, who ordered all the expensive food.

John: Uh, actually, I'm a bit short on cash right now. Can you guys cover me this time?

Mike: John, this is ridiculous.

Sarah: Yeah, you need to learn how to manage your money better.

John: Fine, fine. I'll figure something out.

John signals and then whispers to the waiter.

Waiter: I'm sorry sir, we can't have customers working in the kitchen.

John: Please, I really need to pay off my bill. I don't have any other way to do it.

Sarah: John, this is ridiculous. You need to figure out a real solution to your problems.

John: I don't need the peanut gallery Saaaaruhhhhhhh. Make Mind to Your Own Business Saruhhhhh!





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