I'm Struggling with My Purpose

Ever found yourself scrolling, swiping, or clicking, only to wake from the trance and wonder, What am I doing with my life? That hollow feeling—it’s not just about time slipping away. It’s about questioning whether I’m truly living or merely numbing myself with noise...

Modern entertainment doesn’t just distract us—it can erase our understanding of meaningful pursuits, leading to a deep existential disconnection from our values and sense of self. I’ve felt this firsthand: there are moments when I’ll scroll through social media or binge-watch a show, only to come away feeling hollow. It’s not just the time wasted; it’s the way those moments make me question whether I’m truly living the life I want or simply filling it with noise. Afterward, I struggle to reconnect with what matters—whether it’s my relationships, creative goals, or even just the joy of being present in the moment. The pull of passive consumption can feel inescapable at times, leaving me wondering if I’m slowly losing sight of who I am or what I care about.

The addictive nature of entertainment doesn’t merely distract; it fundamentally alters our perceptions and priorities. We become so consumed by passive consumption that we lose the ability to discern—or even remember—what truly matters to us. I sometimes catch myself scrolling endlessly or zoning out with a show, even when I have other priorities. It’s not just the wasted time—it’s also the rewiring of my focus.

For instance, when I stopped using nicotine, I noticed how that habit had shaped my routines and small joys. Entertainment works in a similar way. I’ll catch myself choosing the short-term fix of distraction over activities I know are more fulfilling, such as writing or engaging meaningfully with friends and family. It’s like entertainment stands in for real connection but leaves me more disconnected than before. It’s not just about breaking a habit—it’s about reclaiming those meaningful pieces of life that remind me who I am and what I care about.

Constant exposure to entertainment can also make us question the value of pursuits we once considered meaningful. This creates confusion and aimlessness, as our traditional values and aspirations get overshadowed by the instant gratification entertainment provides. It’s not only that we’re distracted from what matters, but that our very sense of what is meaningful might be at stake.

Reconstructing our sense of identity and values is challenging in a culture saturated with distractions and competing narratives of what’s worthwhile. I’ve felt these competing pulls deeply over the past couple of years, but coming into a new year of reflection and realization—especially now in 2025—I feel more certain that this is a day-by-day journey. I’m blessed to be alive, and I often think of my grandparents, my ancestors, and all those who aren’t here. I owe it to them—and to myself—to do something with this precious gift of life. Even if I’m still finding my footing, each day is an opportunity to stay connected to what matters most.

I may still struggle with my purpose, but I know I’m on the right path. Moving forward, I’ll keep reminding myself that true fulfillment requires active engagement with my values, relationships, and passions—and that, more than anything, is worth fighting for.

• Permission to stumble: Changing habits is never linear. There will be days you slip back into mindless scrolling. That doesn’t negate the progress you’ve made.

• Small wins are cumulative: Every time you choose a meaningful action over a mindless one, you’re re-wiring your habits and reaffirming your deeper values.

  • Why it matters: Overcoming deeply ingrained patterns of distraction is a day-by-day journey. Self-compassion ensures you keep moving forward, rather than getting stuck in guilt or frustration.

• Connecting with those who came before: Thinking about ancestors or loved ones who are no longer here can be a profound motivator. It reminds us that our choices carry meaning, not just for ourselves but for those who paved the way or might come after.

  • Why it matters: When we remember that life is a gift—one that countless others would have given anything to extend—it reawakens a sense of responsibility and gratitude. This perspective can fuel your desire to invest in things that truly count.

• Questions to ask yourself:

  1. Which relationships, activities, or personal missions make me feel most alive?

  2. What did I once consider meaningful before distractions became so pervasive?

  3. How do I want to be remembered—or remember myself—when I look back on these years?

     1. Why it matters: When we get clear on why certain pursuits hold intrinsic value, the “noise” becomes easier to set aside. We reclaim a sense of direction and identity by actively choosing what aligns with our deeper intentions.

• Set short windows of intentionality: Decide on a 15- or 20-minute interval where you put your phone aside or close your laptop. Use this time to do something meaningful—write, read, meditate, or connect with someone you love.

• Create mini “content fasts”: For example, designate one hour in the evening as screen-free. Consistent small breaks can help recalibrate your sense of engagement with the present.

  • Why it matters: Attention is a limited resource. When we deliberately protect it, we can redirect it toward the projects, people, and ideas that truly enrich our sense of purpose.